A Joyless Society!

Happiness, as we would like to believe should be within reach. It should be attainable and not a distant dream. And it should be equitable. Joy isn't something that can be bought, earned, gained, manipulated or traded. It is fairly distributed, unlike some other valuables of life. It's something fleeting though it seems, it's difficult to hold on to. Or so have we have been led to believe.

However, whenever I am with my 4 year old cousin, I meet with an exception. She is always happy! Simply because she always does what she feels like, you can threaten her, tell her fake ghost stories to scare her off, scold her etc, but she is incorrigible. She can't be bought off because you can't offer her anything she would trade her freedom for. Well, ok I can give her a chocolate bar every 5 minutes to make her keep quite but sometimes she just forgets our deal in 2 minutes and go right back to what she loves doing.

I believe her happiness comes from ignorance and lack of interaction with our society, mostly due to the communication gap we have. But apart from that she has no bank loans to repay, no elaborate sense of morality, no sense of overwhelming responsibility for her family, no burden of taking the name of her ancestors to new heights, no peers and classmates to compete against and feel superior of, no neighbors to show her new car off too... She doesn't want anything complicated from the world, and what she does want, she refuses to acknowledge its worth. She just 'acts' ignorant. Ignorance indeed must be bliss!

So what am I saying here? Can one be happy right now, no awaiting to meet the soul-mate, no death to pass through before one reaches heaven or hell, no successful accomplishments of projects, no financial goals to be met by the time we retire? Is my cousin really happy? Is ignorance really bliss? How do I now get ignorant that I have already been institutionalized in to living by the norms of our society? Was I born happy and now somehow lost it? Was it my fault if I lost it or did someone take it away from me? Why?

Can Joy last forever? And what does one do if one is happy right now irrespective of age, money and morals? That should be condemned, for then one would have no limitations! Why would such a person work hard in the fields, or fear the law, believe in God or even fear death? How would we deal with such a person? For he would just do what makes him happy not try to provide his best for the society's welfare, or be a God-fearing modest being, he wouldn't make any compromises to please people, he would not seek praise or be afraid of denial. Such a person would be in effect no good to anyone but himself!

By that definition every child including my cousin is an outlaw. They are anti-social, they don't give a damn about who says or thinks what, they live in their world happily and seem to be quite proud of it. They must be educated. Forced to go to schools for so long and so aimlessly that they forget the things that once brought them joy. Lost in the burdens of homework, and monthly tests they lose the sense of joy. Thankfully for the society, in almost all cases we eventually are able to take away their joy, make them like us, joyless.

Which brings us to the root of the conceptions about happiness! A happy, self content person is out of the control of society. He doesn't seek advise, approval, praise and doesn't fear rejection, judgement, wrath and denial. He is just indifferent so to say to opinion of society. Not of individuals but of the society. There is a difference. Individuals like happy people, they inspire them. Society fears them, they inspire others to seek happiness too.

This notion questions the fundamental fabric of society. That to live in harmony we must make sacrifices. That we must understand and try to be understood. We must seek approval for our deepest convictions, and take permissions from society to live our lives as we wish to.

Joy, a Journey or an End?

Since the Pursuit of Happiness is often called a lifelong endeavor, it must be of interest to ponder whether happiness is supposed to be achieved at the end of a life, or is it something which can be held on throughout the life through a pursuit for itself? And which of the two should be the endeavor, must be derived from the conclusion of this thought.

For it to be an end, something which comes at old age, after a life full of hard work and labor and unhappiness - for essentially if happiness was to be gained only at the end, the entire life till that point should be unhappy - it really should be something worth it, to go through a life devoid of happiness. Also one must consider what essentially is meant by this end of life? Is it that moment, when you see the white light at the end of a tunnel, just before dying, or is it something you will receive after you retire from job and receive your first pension check, drinking coffee at your porch and getting ready for a leisurely walk? I also must take in to consideration the afterlife point of view, which my own faith asks me to believe in.

I don't know for sure, but if it's the former then it's just a moment, right? A minute at most if you are lucky, two may be, damn some people just die in sleep or unconscious, so those fellows never get that moment! So we just spend all the life waiting for that moment of dying in satisfaction and happiness? Really? Well let's not get disappointed and consider other options.

The latter option is probably we'd be happy after we retire, once our children are settled, work pressure is over, financially we are secure, have a home and car and nothing to do. Indeed sounds like a happy picture. Or could it be just a rosy picture painted by the society to make us work without asking any questions while we are still young and useful for society, but also rebellious and curious by nature? Well, society is known for its notorious tendencies so it's surely good to check its motive.  Let's ask ourselves this now, that are all the old retired people we know, happy?

Most that I know are diabetic, struggling with arthritis, have blood pressure, low on energy, worried for their children, cranky, cynical, and worst that I know, still wondering was it worth living this life, living with the guilt and regret of not doing the things they craved to do once upon a time, and letting those dreams be forgotten and trampled under the pressures of survival and society! Still worst are those 65 year olds who still don't have a clue about what were they up to, and are even now just busy following suite in temples and charities and spiritual gurus and hill station homes and morning walks and laughing clubs and reading worthless news wasting morning hours with sugarless tea or just dealing with more 65 year olds like themselves.

Yeah, but so what, I am sure there are some happy old ones too, who are satisfied with their achievements and enjoying their retirement now! And I am going to be like them!

Hmmm, well best of luck to me, cause anyone satisfied with their life never needs to retire to start being happy. They would probably keep working till weeks before they die because that's what brought them happiness.

The thing is if you didn't figure out how to be happy early enough in your life, you probably won't when you are towards the end either. With time we just get more narrow minded and strict in our views. The need to explore, experiment and risk diminishes. So, for once stop waiting to retire to be happy. Just sweep that notion out of your deepest sub-conscious deliberately.

Happiness is not an end to anything, it is not the destination, it is a state of mind, which can be achieved and held through various tiny yet interlinked factors. It does not just dawn upon you if you keep looking outward for it without introspection, and unlike what society preaches, there is no age, financial or moral limitations to be happy. Anyone can be happy! The good thing is we all are born knowing how to be happy. Just look at any child around you if you want proof.

Coming back to the opening thought, joy as we talked about can't be an end. It should be the feeding force to run the machine of life. It should provide enough compensation every day to go through the grinding of day to day activities. It must provide enough compensation to neutralize the pressures of living in this society. Also the most joyful activities in life are something which we enjoy alone.

We do want to share them sometimes, but since it is something so personal and intimate, that to expect another person to understand leave alone share the joy of something so deep inside us, is necessarily a mistake, however I am not disregarding the idea of actually coming across that one person in years with whom we can indeed share our deepest joys, but it's really really rare and most of us never find that person because we don't really know what to look for.

As an alternative we usually try to find joy in things that people around us seem to enjoy too. The need to share is so overwhelming that we would just pretend to enjoy what our friends or lovers or family appear to be enjoying. Again we are not born with this need to share, but we are taught to learn to want to share and be understood.

One essentially needs to learn to reject and fight the need to share and seek approval while doing things one enjoys and which bring him happiness. It can and will only lead to doubt and frustration. The only approval one needs to pursue things of joy should be one's own.

This also tells something very important about joy. It tells that true joy comes from having a self. A personal image and identity, not a public face, but the face which separates you from the others in your eyes. And by this I certainly don't imply blue hair and pink eyeliner. I mean understanding those aspects and unique attributes about ourselves that are so innate and intrinsic of us. It is only through this understanding of ourselves that we can seek those unique ways to attain joy, which then would by implication be that much reflective of us, be close to our souls and be very true to our beliefs.

And once again for the critical out there I repeat, seeking joy and committing crime of the land are two different activities and are not to be mixed.

Pursuit of Happiness...

Happiness, is certainly one of the most commonly stated or unstated motives of life. It also is according to statistics and reason the biggest leveling factors in life. A rich or poor, an intellectual or idiot, a child or grown up can all seek and find happiness equally without discrimination and irrespective of other factors.

However, it is surely debatable whether society wants others to find joy in their lives. If one would consider the stated goals of society most, if not all of them fall in favor of virtue than joy. Joy for example might lie in lazying around on a sunny winter day, or indulging in good food and wine, realizing one's own dreams, creating something new, pursuing a fruitless yet exciting cause or simply listening to music, dancing, shopping etc. But, each of them or pursuing any of them is made out to be a sin by the guardians of society.

The only endeavor the society happily permits to an individual is working hard. However, this act of working hard the society expects of its people is again marred with conditions and terms. The worst condition being the society doesn't encourage individuals to find joy in their work. It's ignored as a criterion for seeking which work to do, and when despite this conscious ignorance, when someone does find joy in his work and starts pursuing it for that reason, the society tries in its full power to kill and suppress such an act and feeling.

Amongst others the society becomes jealous not of achievement and success but of someone enjoying achievement and success. The society wants the happy people, to endure, be tired, lose something as a bargain for being successful, so that the society remains relevant for such people. And this doesn't even apply just to the successful ones, it applies equally to everyone who wants to stay a part of society. Any act which is self fulfilling is to be condemned, as society becomes insecure of its own existence and survival, if people can find joy from within.

The reason for this behavior of society is of course the survival of society. To ensure that the survival of generations to come is guaranteed. It is a worthy reason too for giving up day to day joy in a society where survival is really a big issue, marred by wars, and famines and diseases. However, that was centuries ago, when the notions of ensuring survival were hard instilled in the founding scriptures of society.

Hence, it becomes imperative now that survival has become easier, diseases can be cured, wars don't impact life, and famines barely make it to news, that we start rethinking our actions and judge them to the ultimate motive they serve. Our forefathers have put in a lot of blood and sweat to bring forth a day where we can just guilt-freely enjoy happiness, pursue our own paths, and indulge in activities we find pleasure in, without worrying about being judged from our peers and parents. But the validity of the path they had to choose to bring this day is questionable.

Lastly, we need to be sure which part of our lives is worth going through all that we go through! Is it the hard work in office hours that we hate so much from guts, or is it the simple need to be happy and seek joy whichever way it comes. Also, what needs to be considered is that whether the only way to survival leads through doing things that we don't enjoy, and treating joy as a sin?

Is it not possible to find a way of survival in things we enjoy? Or from another point of view, is it still worth living a life, that is devoid of joy if just bare survival is ensured? Why should joy be something always given a secondary place in front of survival?

It's true that there can be no joy to be appreciated if life stops existing but it's equally true that life never really existed in the first place if it was joyless!

P.S. I still condemn pedophiles, serial killers, aggressors, and others who breach in to the basic rights of life and freedom of others. :)