Since the Pursuit of Happiness is often called a lifelong endeavor, it must be of interest to ponder whether happiness is supposed to be achieved at the end of a life, or is it something which can be held on throughout the life through a pursuit for itself? And which of the two should be the endeavor, must be derived from the conclusion of this thought.
For it to be an end, something which comes at old age, after a life full of hard work and labor and unhappiness - for essentially if happiness was to be gained only at the end, the entire life till that point should be unhappy - it really should be something worth it, to go through a life devoid of happiness. Also one must consider what essentially is meant by this end of life? Is it that moment, when you see the white light at the end of a tunnel, just before dying, or is it something you will receive after you retire from job and receive your first pension check, drinking coffee at your porch and getting ready for a leisurely walk? I also must take in to consideration the afterlife point of view, which my own faith asks me to believe in.
I don't know for sure, but if it's the former then it's just a moment, right? A minute at most if you are lucky, two may be, damn some people just die in sleep or unconscious, so those fellows never get that moment! So we just spend all the life waiting for that moment of dying in satisfaction and happiness? Really? Well let's not get disappointed and consider other options.
The latter option is probably we'd be happy after we retire, once our children are settled, work pressure is over, financially we are secure, have a home and car and nothing to do. Indeed sounds like a happy picture. Or could it be just a rosy picture painted by the society to make us work without asking any questions while we are still young and useful for society, but also rebellious and curious by nature? Well, society is known for its notorious tendencies so it's surely good to check its motive. Let's ask ourselves this now, that are all the old retired people we know, happy?
Most that I know are diabetic, struggling with arthritis, have blood pressure, low on energy, worried for their children, cranky, cynical, and worst that I know, still wondering was it worth living this life, living with the guilt and regret of not doing the things they craved to do once upon a time, and letting those dreams be forgotten and trampled under the pressures of survival and society! Still worst are those 65 year olds who still don't have a clue about what were they up to, and are even now just busy following suite in temples and charities and spiritual gurus and hill station homes and morning walks and laughing clubs and reading worthless news wasting morning hours with sugarless tea or just dealing with more 65 year olds like themselves.
Yeah, but so what, I am sure there are some happy old ones too, who are satisfied with their achievements and enjoying their retirement now! And I am going to be like them!
Hmmm, well best of luck to me, cause anyone satisfied with their life never needs to retire to start being happy. They would probably keep working till weeks before they die because that's what brought them happiness.
The thing is if you didn't figure out how to be happy early enough in your life, you probably won't when you are towards the end either. With time we just get more narrow minded and strict in our views. The need to explore, experiment and risk diminishes. So, for once stop waiting to retire to be happy. Just sweep that notion out of your deepest sub-conscious deliberately.
Happiness is not an end to anything, it is not the destination, it is a state of mind, which can be achieved and held through various tiny yet interlinked factors. It does not just dawn upon you if you keep looking outward for it without introspection, and unlike what society preaches, there is no age, financial or moral limitations to be happy. Anyone can be happy! The good thing is we all are born knowing how to be happy. Just look at any child around you if you want proof.
Coming back to the opening thought, joy as we talked about can't be an end. It should be the feeding force to run the machine of life. It should provide enough compensation every day to go through the grinding of day to day activities. It must provide enough compensation to neutralize the pressures of living in this society. Also the most joyful activities in life are something which we enjoy alone.
We do want to share them sometimes, but since it is something so personal and intimate, that to expect another person to understand leave alone share the joy of something so deep inside us, is necessarily a mistake, however I am not disregarding the idea of actually coming across that one person in years with whom we can indeed share our deepest joys, but it's really really rare and most of us never find that person because we don't really know what to look for.
As an alternative we usually try to find joy in things that people around us seem to enjoy too. The need to share is so overwhelming that we would just pretend to enjoy what our friends or lovers or family appear to be enjoying. Again we are not born with this need to share, but we are taught to learn to want to share and be understood.
One essentially needs to learn to reject and fight the need to share and seek approval while doing things one enjoys and which bring him happiness. It can and will only lead to doubt and frustration. The only approval one needs to pursue things of joy should be one's own.
This also tells something very important about joy. It tells that true joy comes from having a self. A personal image and identity, not a public face, but the face which separates you from the others in your eyes. And by this I certainly don't imply blue hair and pink eyeliner. I mean understanding those aspects and unique attributes about ourselves that are so innate and intrinsic of us. It is only through this understanding of ourselves that we can seek those unique ways to attain joy, which then would by implication be that much reflective of us, be close to our souls and be very true to our beliefs.
And once again for the critical out there I repeat, seeking joy and committing crime of the land are two different activities and are not to be mixed.
For it to be an end, something which comes at old age, after a life full of hard work and labor and unhappiness - for essentially if happiness was to be gained only at the end, the entire life till that point should be unhappy - it really should be something worth it, to go through a life devoid of happiness. Also one must consider what essentially is meant by this end of life? Is it that moment, when you see the white light at the end of a tunnel, just before dying, or is it something you will receive after you retire from job and receive your first pension check, drinking coffee at your porch and getting ready for a leisurely walk? I also must take in to consideration the afterlife point of view, which my own faith asks me to believe in.
I don't know for sure, but if it's the former then it's just a moment, right? A minute at most if you are lucky, two may be, damn some people just die in sleep or unconscious, so those fellows never get that moment! So we just spend all the life waiting for that moment of dying in satisfaction and happiness? Really? Well let's not get disappointed and consider other options.
The latter option is probably we'd be happy after we retire, once our children are settled, work pressure is over, financially we are secure, have a home and car and nothing to do. Indeed sounds like a happy picture. Or could it be just a rosy picture painted by the society to make us work without asking any questions while we are still young and useful for society, but also rebellious and curious by nature? Well, society is known for its notorious tendencies so it's surely good to check its motive. Let's ask ourselves this now, that are all the old retired people we know, happy?
Most that I know are diabetic, struggling with arthritis, have blood pressure, low on energy, worried for their children, cranky, cynical, and worst that I know, still wondering was it worth living this life, living with the guilt and regret of not doing the things they craved to do once upon a time, and letting those dreams be forgotten and trampled under the pressures of survival and society! Still worst are those 65 year olds who still don't have a clue about what were they up to, and are even now just busy following suite in temples and charities and spiritual gurus and hill station homes and morning walks and laughing clubs and reading worthless news wasting morning hours with sugarless tea or just dealing with more 65 year olds like themselves.
Yeah, but so what, I am sure there are some happy old ones too, who are satisfied with their achievements and enjoying their retirement now! And I am going to be like them!
Hmmm, well best of luck to me, cause anyone satisfied with their life never needs to retire to start being happy. They would probably keep working till weeks before they die because that's what brought them happiness.
The thing is if you didn't figure out how to be happy early enough in your life, you probably won't when you are towards the end either. With time we just get more narrow minded and strict in our views. The need to explore, experiment and risk diminishes. So, for once stop waiting to retire to be happy. Just sweep that notion out of your deepest sub-conscious deliberately.
Happiness is not an end to anything, it is not the destination, it is a state of mind, which can be achieved and held through various tiny yet interlinked factors. It does not just dawn upon you if you keep looking outward for it without introspection, and unlike what society preaches, there is no age, financial or moral limitations to be happy. Anyone can be happy! The good thing is we all are born knowing how to be happy. Just look at any child around you if you want proof.
Coming back to the opening thought, joy as we talked about can't be an end. It should be the feeding force to run the machine of life. It should provide enough compensation every day to go through the grinding of day to day activities. It must provide enough compensation to neutralize the pressures of living in this society. Also the most joyful activities in life are something which we enjoy alone.
We do want to share them sometimes, but since it is something so personal and intimate, that to expect another person to understand leave alone share the joy of something so deep inside us, is necessarily a mistake, however I am not disregarding the idea of actually coming across that one person in years with whom we can indeed share our deepest joys, but it's really really rare and most of us never find that person because we don't really know what to look for.
As an alternative we usually try to find joy in things that people around us seem to enjoy too. The need to share is so overwhelming that we would just pretend to enjoy what our friends or lovers or family appear to be enjoying. Again we are not born with this need to share, but we are taught to learn to want to share and be understood.
One essentially needs to learn to reject and fight the need to share and seek approval while doing things one enjoys and which bring him happiness. It can and will only lead to doubt and frustration. The only approval one needs to pursue things of joy should be one's own.
This also tells something very important about joy. It tells that true joy comes from having a self. A personal image and identity, not a public face, but the face which separates you from the others in your eyes. And by this I certainly don't imply blue hair and pink eyeliner. I mean understanding those aspects and unique attributes about ourselves that are so innate and intrinsic of us. It is only through this understanding of ourselves that we can seek those unique ways to attain joy, which then would by implication be that much reflective of us, be close to our souls and be very true to our beliefs.
And once again for the critical out there I repeat, seeking joy and committing crime of the land are two different activities and are not to be mixed.
thoughts too biased by the fact that inactivity or nothingness only brings joy to u...which may not be the case for many of ur readers
ReplyDeletecan you quote which parts said that?
ReplyDeleteAll I remember trying to convey is listen only to your own calling, don't follow norms and well trodden paths just because you would have company there. Be ready to walk alone for what you believe to be true. And most importantly seek happiness within yourself.
Happiness is not absolute. Everyone has his/her own definition of happiness, and to understand that one needs to be in same frame of reference. It’s not much different from Einstein’s theory of relativity. Happiness is not only relative with respect to people but also significantly differ with time. The change is so fast that even one doesn’t know what (s)he wants . (s)he is happy or not...or there is need of something and if yes then what is that something...keeping impact of other tangible things similar for every person; happiness may be a function of time and person. Time in itself a continuously changing variable and person/ human nature is so complex and uncertain that the result of these two makes predictability of happiness quite difficult if not impossible.
ReplyDeleteSo no one actually reaches happiness.. it’s just an illusion which people have.. It’s like a 1 month infant who knows nothing and surprised why so many people are laughing kissing and talking (non understandable) all the time..The baby doesn’t know who or what is mother or father.. the person who is close enough .. baby gets closer and find happiness with it..that time mother’s lap is the only place o happiness for the baby.. with time person changes and so the uncertainties and complexities.
I have to agree with you PSJ, because I differ with your view of the complexity of joy. I essentially believe joy is easy to seek. And hence I have to agree with you because if it was simple we would have said the same thing.
ReplyDeleteWe all are born knowing how to be happy. And take away the attachments we created in order to live in the society, we would hardly have a worry in life. The reason why I say this is, if each of us individually, asks themselves, what would make us happy right this moment. We all would know the answers.
The answers would change if I keep digging for more depth. For example while my first response would be I need a room heater, given more time to think I would wish for a home in the southern hemisphere. Given even more time, I might wish to create a shelter for all those who are sleeping on the road tonight. And going further I might seek joy in creating a home for everyone in the world, where they can be warm and safe on such a cold night. This is an evolved, deep need for joy.
So yes I knew the answer, but it changed in 5 minutes. That part is complex, but now I know what will give me joy. The simplicity lies in the fact that we know how to seek joy. Create and pursue goals. Seek higher objectives.
Now comes the complex part, which is viability of joy. In my example, its possible for me to get a room heater or a bigger blanket. But the rest of the activities are long term. So the joy of finishing or achieving might be obtained years later. So perhaps in the short term, I will seek joy in the blanket, and work towards the long term objective.
Then again, tomorrow I might lose the feeling as it might be warmer tomorrow. Or I might be more hungry than cold and wish for a hot meal more than a blanket. Its also essential that we learn to differentiate between needs and joy. Satisfaction of needs brings joy. But working towards that end doesn't. Joy achieved through satisfaction of needs is mental cookie offered to us when we work and ensure our survival.
The joy we're discussing here is much beyond survival, as this joy seeks to give a meaning to want to live. If the pleasant feeling of ensuring survival is confused with joy, as is easy to, we would just throughout our lives be trying to seek a reason for doing things that at the end make us feel pleasant, but eventually we are just merely surviving.
I have to agree with you PSJ, because I differ with your view of the complexity of joy. I essentially believe joy is easy to seek. And hence I have to agree with you because if it was simple we would have said the same thing.
ReplyDeleteWe all are born knowing how to be happy. And take away the attachments we created in order to live in the society, we would hardly have a worry in life. The reason why I say this is, if each of us individually, asks themselves, what would make us happy right this moment. We all would know the answers.
The answers would change if I keep digging for more depth. For example while my first response would be I need a room heater, given more time to think I would wish for a home in the southern hemisphere. Given even more time, I might wish to create a shelter for all those who are sleeping on the road tonight. And going further I might seek joy in creating a home for everyone in the world, where they can be warm and safe on such a cold night. This is an evolved, deep need for joy.
So yes I knew the answer, but it changed in 5 minutes. That part is complex, but now I know what will give me joy. The simplicity lies in the fact that we know how to seek joy. Create and pursue goals. Seek higher objectives.
Now comes the complex part, which is viability of joy. In my example, its possible for me to get a room heater or a bigger blanket. But the rest of the activities are long term. So the joy of finishing or achieving might be obtained years later. So perhaps in the short term, I will seek joy in the blanket, and work towards the long term objective.
Then again, tomorrow I might lose the feeling as it might be warmer tomorrow. Or I might be more hungry than cold and wish for a hot meal more than a blanket. Its also essential that we learn to differentiate between needs and joy. Satisfaction of needs brings joy. But working towards that end doesn't. Joy achieved through satisfaction of needs is mental cookie offered to us when we work and ensure our survival.
The joy we're discussing here is much beyond survival, as this joy seeks to give a meaning to want to live. If the pleasant feeling of ensuring survival is confused with joy, as is easy to, we would just throughout our lives be trying to seek a reason for doing things that at the end make us feel pleasant, but eventually we are just merely surviving.